Matthew:
Elizabeth McGuchan was born in Glasgow on the 14th of September 1949. Her two brothers were 15 and 13 when she was born and her sister 12.
Life was difficult for Betty: the Glasgow tenements of the 1950s were poverty-stricken, and when she was still quite young her father suffered a stroke and was confined to a wheelchair. He died when Betty was 7. Later her mother also had a stroke and became an invalid. Betty’s sister came back to Glasgow to look after her and Betty, but their mother eventually died in 1960 when Betty was just 10.
Betty was often kept off school to care for her nephews. It was decided she would move to Coventry and live with one of her brothers, his partner, and his child in a caravan. Sadly, life wasn’t any better and she was even left to find herself a school to go to. These unhappy experiences left a permanent mark on Betty, and she was to struggle later in life with bouts of depression.
After being rejected by one school for being too old, she was directed to Ling Hall Secondary. There, a kindly teacher, Mrs Anderson, noticed how unhappy Betty was. Mrs Anderson gave Betty her home address, telling her that she could come to see her if she wanted to talk. One Saturday, Betty decided that she wanted her life to change and walked to Mrs Anderson’s. After listening to Betty’s story, Social Services were called and Betty was rehomed to Keresley Grange Children's Home. There, she was well cared for and ever after associated the standards of cleanliness, order, and routine of the home with security.
At age 14 she moved to another home, Roxburgh House, but had to move out once she reached 16. After that, she went to live in the Y.W.C.A. and started work. Her first job in a needle factory ended very quickly when she threw a pan of needles over the foreman, as well as her second job in a café - she could have a short fuse.
The following year, a group of students from Lanchester College were holding a party but didn’t know any girls to invite. One of them knew another girl at the hostel and was invited and asked to bring some friends, one of whom was Betty. That was when she and Paul first met, on May 7th 1966. They were immediately attracted to each other and the next day she invited him to tea.
They saw each other regularly for the following few weeks until Paul finished college and returned home to Ross-on-Wye, leaving Betty with a picture of him inscribed “To Betty, in memory of a few happy hours”. Betty occasionally reminded him of this during their life together, jokingly asking when the few happy hours were going to begin.
Throughout the summer, Paul would speak to her every night from a call box until the money ran out. When Paul got a job in Ilford, in Essex, Paul would take public transport out to the end of the M1, then hitchhike all the way up to Coventry whenever he could just to see her, even sleeping in trucker’s digs just to keep the cost down. Betty was still in the Y.W.C.A., so boys couldn’t stay overnight!
In November 1966, Betty and Paul got engaged and Betty was allowed to move closer to Paul – still 45 minutes away by Tube on Tottenham Court Road, but a lot less perilous! Throughout that first winter, they spent weekends together walking all over London seeing the sights, spending time going round and round on the Circle line or watching many cycles of the programme in a cartoon cinema just to be together whilst keeping warm!
1967, The Summer of Love, was a warm and sunny one. Walking down Kings Road in Chelsea one evening, they heard the Beach Boys “Wouldn’t it be Nice” coming from a jukebox: it seemed to sum up everything they longed for. And on the 23rd of September, they were married in St. Mary’s church, Ross-on-Wye. The wedding was so picturesque that the photographer hung a giant copy of their wedding picture up in the shop window – which Paul and Betty eventually ended up with!
Peter:
Betty moved to Ilford with Paul into a one-bedroom flat. Weekends were filled with going to free concerts in Hyde Park, visiting London pubs to see great music, and Saturdays watching West Ham play.
Betty worked in Ilford assembling radar systems, a job she really enjoyed - she surpassed the whole family with her soldering skills – but she was ousted when mandatory eye tests considered her not fit for the role and began work at Ilford laundry. Paul worked with Betty, in the evenings, whenever extra workers were needed to cope with the demand from ships arriving at the Port of London. Shocks of static electricity and fleas escaping from the blankets were a hazard.
When Paul returned to education, doing a one-year course at Northern Polytechnic in 1968, Betty supported them both as the only wage earner, as no grants were available., Paul repaid her trust with interest, earning him his first professional job as a plastics technologist with the Metal Box Company in Portsmouth.
Paul and Betty were separated again for several months, but eventually, Paul found a house to rent so Betty could join him. she eventually found her true vocation when she got a job in a local children’s home.
In March 1971 Matthew was born but in April the house they were buying fell through when the vendor put the price up. Sadly, they were separated again, Betty and Matthew moving to Ross with Paul’s parents whilst Paul looked for another house to buy. Paul’s mum could be quite critical at times, and Betty struggled somewhat with her temporary life there, but in October they finally moved into their own home after being gazumped four times. In August 1973, Peter was born.
Changes in Paul’s job meant that they had to move, so in 1974, they relocated to Fleckney, a village near Leicester, and again in 1978 to Cambusbarron, near Stirling in Scotland. Betty worked so hard through all these moves supporting Paul and the family and working tirelessly each time to make a home for them all.
Betty always said she would know that as soon as they finished the last part of decorating a house they would have to move again – and sadly she was right. In 1981, Paul’s job necessitated another move – this time down to Rufforth, near York, but fortunately, they stayed this time for nineteen years.
In 1984 Richard was born. The house was filled with joy and happiness, and Betty studiously kept the house in a more perfect order than you’d expect for being filled with teenagers and toddlers. Of course, it helped that Betty gave everyone an enforced cleaning task to do!
When Paul was away at work, Betty had to do everything to keep things going. On one occasion, she found a missed call from a customer of Paul’s and rang them back to apologise for not getting to the phone in time as she was in the loft fixing her ballcock.
Throughout the years, Betty and the family enjoyed many family holidays together, sometimes 3 week-long trips camping over on the continent, seeing the sights, relaxing, drinking wine, playing games and catching up on all the books unread.
In 1985, Paul had the good fortune to find a company that meant they didn’t have to move for a while, joining Bradman Lake in Bristol.
Eventually, Richard started attending playgroup, but Betty would be reluctant to leave him. She’d peer in through the windows to see if he was settling in all right. After repeatedly doing so, one of the leaders said “For goodness sake, come in!”, and Betty helped out from then on as a volunteer. She was a natural for the role, having the gift of being able to think like a child and join in their games as if she was one of them – a habit that never left her even in her 70s.
When Richard started primary, Betty followed him, becoming a dinner lady, and then a voluntary non-teaching assistant at the school. She loved the job, but once again she found herself cast aside when the school decided to change it into a paid role – one that demanded qualifications Betty didn’t have.
Richard:
However, a friend who ran the Manor Nursing Home next to the school offered Betty a job as a Care Assistant. She put her heart and soul into looking after her ladies. She would make sure their clothes were always clean, and hair neat so they would look their best, even more so if they had visitors coming. She would accompany residents to hospital appointments and stay long after her shift was finished if someone was dying, not wanting them to be alone. She found the work very sad at times but truly rewarding. She even ended up recruiting Richard in unpaid voluntary IT support roles at the Manor!
As Paul’s career progressed, he was having to spend four days every week in Bristol, leaving family life increasingly compacted. In 1994, he persuaded a reluctant Betty to relocate to Bristol, but the combination of cost and yet more gazumping meant they ran out of time before Richard started secondary school. However, the combination of a hard job, an emptying nest and the threat of a move left Betty feeling very destabilised, to the point her mental health suffered badly.
By 2000, with Richard now coming to the end of secondary school, and with Inland Revenue now considering Paul’s extended time away to be taxable, Paul’s company provided a bridging loan for the family to finally relocate, so they purchased a new build on The Vale in Portishead, to be completed in August 2000. Builders being builders It was not ready until November, so they rented a flat in Sheepway.
At the same time, Betty joined Norewood Lodge Care Home.  She and her friend Janet were a good team and spent ten happy years together caring for the residents and were known for their kindness and dedication. She also gained accreditations in dementia care, something she was very proud of.
Her dedication to her job was such that, when the lane outside the flat flooded, she waded through, water coming over the tops of her wellies, and walked all the way to work, boots squelching.
Betty also joined the congregation here, and in November 2003, Betty was confirmed by Bishop Peter of Bath and Wells.
When Paul and Betty both retired in 2010, they became more involved in the church. Betty enjoyed helping at the Lighthouse Café with Refresh and Tots, as well as being a welcomer and church cleaner – especially helpful as she kept running out of things to clean at home. She was an asset when any church furniture needed to be moved as she had a photographic memory as to where it should go back.
She also rediscovered her joy of knitting, but never really knew what to knit until she found she could make hats for the foreign sailors that came to Avonmouth in winter, unprepared for the cold weather. Eventually, it became a production line.
Paul and Betty never lost their love for travel, visiting many places far and wide, including Venice, Bruges, California and Texas in later years. Betty had a passion for country music, so their trip to Nashville was very fondly remembered. They also spent a lot of time touring the UK, using their National Trust passes to their fullest extent and frequently visiting the theatre in Bath using their bus passes to Park and Ride in. Betty also managed her dream of visiting Iona in 2019 for her 70th birthday.
Betty’s demons never really left, and later in life she became more and more anxious, going through bouts of severe depression, which conflicted heavily with the happy, outgoing side she portrayed to others. Her obsession with cleanliness, order and eye for detail was her strength, and her weakness - worried so much that people didn’t care for her because people hadn’t cared for her in younger life.
But when Betty was happy, she would like nothing better than to listen to sad Country and Western songs and, if they could not escape quickly enough, grab one of her sons to dance with her. She was also utterly welcoming and friendly to everyone she met: chatting with strangers mowing their lawns, joyously manhandling surprised waiting staff, and talking the ear off every shop assistant within a 30-mile radius. Many in the community considered her to be a caring, shining light bringing giggles, happiness and radiance when Betty came into contact with them.
The avalanche of cards our family have received in response to her sudden, unexpected passing is a clear sign of how many lives Betty touched. We hope that, in your own way, you can pass on a little bit of that welcoming, joyous energy to others, as she did herself. Thank you.